you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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