She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
