I'm going to rape someone's good day.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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