I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
