if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
