Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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