The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
