they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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