They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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