At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
