I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
