i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
