Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
