in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
they're like a gay fantastic four
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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