Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
