Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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