I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
