Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
