Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Is it because I queefed?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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