bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we made out on top of his cat.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
