your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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