I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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