great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
