I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
