I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
