Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Let's paint friendship bongs
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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