How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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