I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
