OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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