i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
