11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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