Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
