i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
