I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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