Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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