she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
