I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
