it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
