$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
