maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
