New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
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i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
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I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize