i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
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There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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