you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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