i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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