My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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