Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
