just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
