porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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