My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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