i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so let's talk penis.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How external is "for external use only"?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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