He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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