I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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