She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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