Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
