Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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