I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
