uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My vagina is very pro this idea
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
