I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i already hear my dad disowning me
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
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so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
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And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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