so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
