just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
