i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
