I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
